Monday, May 30, 2011

Mythical Legends of a College Athlete

Chubby Johnson is a star outfielder for the Northwest Michigan State Tech Rhinoceroses, a not-so-well known Division III baseball team that I made up. Johnson has a chance to get drafted in the upcoming MLB draft, but has decided baseball just isn't for him. So back in March, Chubby went through his career center to find a job at a large financial firm.

Chubby majored in psychology with a 3.3 GPA. He's a solid but not great student. Chubby has always wanted to make lots of money on Wall Street and drive a BMW, but the partying and women just didn't allow him to do math homework every night. That's why he majored in Psychology.

His career center encouraged him to use the alumni network to find NMST grads that may work in the field out on Wall Street. He found a previous graduate named John Scomb. Scomb, it turns out, is one of the biggest NMST baseball fans that ever lived. Despite his mediocre GPA and psychology major, Scomb invites Chubby out to New York to be wined, dined and interviewed alongside a number of Harvard Business School grads and MIT Finance majors. Chubby graciously accepts.

Chubby's plane ticket arrives in April and the interview comes in the midst of the conference tournament. Luckily, Chubby is able to work around this and flies out to New York after NMST wins the conference tourney and a birth to regionals. As would be expected, the flight is on the financial company's dollar.

When he gets there, Chubby is greeted by a driver that will take him to a nice hotel in Manhattan. Around noon, Scomb shows up with his boss--Chuck McCourt--and they take Chubby out to lunch at a swanky restaurant. Scomb pays for the meal. During the lunch, they mostly talk baseball and ask about NMST's chances of winning it all this year.

After lunch, Chubby is taken to a Yankees game--his favorite team--in the company luxury suite. He gets a back massage and has a couple beers, then heads back to the hotel to take a shower before going out to the bar that night.

The next day, Chubby is hungover. He can't think straight, but he has to make it to the interview on time. The driver is waiting for him and takes him to the 9 am interview. He walks in ready to be grilled by Scomb and his boss. But only Scomb is there. He asks Chubby why he wants to work in the financial industry after majoring in Psychology. Chubby tells him he's always loved the idea of 'being on Wall Street'. They talk a little more baseball, Chubby does some math problems, and Scomb tells him he's hired. He's always wanted a fellow NMST-er there with him at the company.

Chubby goes back to NMST to play out the season, and tells his coach all about how he won't be entering the draft, but was offered a job on Wall Street by Scombs. The coach knew Scombs, as he had tried out for the team but been cut his freshman year at NMST.

The Rhinoceroses win the NCAA Division III National Championship in Appleton, Wisconsin. Chubby graduates and moves to New York to begin his new life as a broker--much in thanks to being a standout baseball player at NMST. Ever since that year, NMST has proudly displayed the trophy and a picture of Chubby Johnson as the tournament MVP in their brand new gym--mostly paid for by the huge influx of applications after students heard about the great baseball atmosphere there.

Should the baseball coach at NMST resign?

After all, a job on Wall Street is worth a lot more than a free tattoo at some random tattoo parlor in Columbus, Ohio.

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